Over Celebrating A New One

This past Saturday my mother got married.  It was a nice ceremony.  It took me a while to decide how I felt about the whole thing.  I am happy for my mom and her husband.  I guess the thing that got to me was just how much focus was put on my new baby niece.  It started early.  The photographer came up to the room to take some getting ready pictures.  In the process they took some of my sister, my mom, the baby, and then my sister, my mom, the baby and my sister's boyfriend.... there wasn't even one picture of me and my sister getting ready, or just the three of us getting ready.  

This was repeated again outside after the ceremony... pictures of the bride and groom with the baby... with my sister and her boyfriend.... not on picture of me, my hubby, the bride and groom.... 

To top off the oh so painful evening for me... I go upstairs to get my two IVF shots... and the stupid needle breaks because I am not focusing.  So I send hubby off to get another needle, and I go back to the reception... and what do I walk into?.....  Isn't She Lovely by Stevie Wonder is playing and there on the dance floor is my mom, her husband, my sister, her boyfriend, and the baby... it was very clear that this song was put on just for the baby.... however fucking wonderful.

So mom is off to Mexico for a week, but I called my sister today and she completely understood why I was upset.  She knows I don't blame her, but I was really hurt.  I guess I shouldn't hold anyone responsible, but at some point you have to just look around and go.... um really?  Hello.....  I shouldn't blame anyone... but I do, and I am hurt.  

So my new challenge is to make it to IVF... which is most likely next week without losing my mind.  Which with these high dose medications seems impossible.  I have already lost it twice.... So I have to make it through this and then also find a way to tell my mom how upset I am.... the blog probably just did that for me which might not be the nicest way... but I am not nice.  Never have been.  I am just trying to survive at this point.

On a happy note... one of my bestest friends asked me to be in her wedding next year!  I am happy and excited for that.